So I just got back from the Black Friday event at the San Francisco Best Buy. We were in line by 2:00AM. By “line”, I really mean a chaotic goop of 300+ young Asian FOB people (including me, technically) with some white people sprinkled into the mix. But because the ethnic majority there have little or no grasp of English, the line situation was utterly insane.
People were lining up on the wrong sides, clearly missing the “LINE STARTS HERE” sign in bright red 5000pt font. Chaos ensued between the Team Wrong Line and Team Right Line.
People were crowding at wrong spots, ignoring the army of blue-polo-clad Best Buy employees’ directions. The Best Buy employee called the stand-by cops and started kicking people out of the line. Chaos ensued between Team Employees and Team Asinine Liners.
Towards 5:30AM, the line situation was pretty much under control. There were cutters but they were quickly escorted off of the premise.
The whole time I was there, there was this one acne-ridden, super FOB Chinese chick who was pissing me off. She not only lined up at the wrong line, but tried to cut infront of me in the right line. She got kicked out of the line, but shamelessly moved with the line and attempted to cut again. As we were being let into the store, I finally yelled at her “YOU ALREADY GOT KICKED OUT OF THE LINE SO STOP TRYING TO GET BACK IN.”
Strangely enough, she got into the store. I only know this because SHE TRIED TO CUT INFRONT OF ME AGAIN in the digital camera purchase line. The nerves! A Best Buy employee had to tell her to follow the curve of the line. She either ignored the guy or really didn’t understand English. She would not budge, and anchored herself right infront of me. I finally snapped and yelled at her (and made sure that everyone and the employees could hear).
ME: CAN YOU PLEASE STOP CUTTING! YOU ALREADY CUT YOUR WAY INTO THE STORE AND NOW YOU’RE CUTTING IN THIS LINE TOO? FOLLOW THE RULES.
CUTTER GIRL: You stand and I not see. I no cut! I was waiting before you!
ME: THEN YOU SHOULD’VE READ INSTRUCTIONS AND LISTENED TO THE STORE’S DIRECTIONS. THE COPS ALREADY KICKED YOU OUT, I CAN GET THEM TO KICK YOU OUT OF THE STORE.
CUTTER GIRL: Fine, fine, I’ll be behind you in line then.
ME: It’s not like you’re doing me a favor, you should be after me.
*silence*
*CUTTER GIRL picks up cellphone, calls her friend*
CUTTER GIRL [In Mandarin]: Where are you? Are you getting the computer? I’m in the camera line, and you can’t believe this woman infront of me. She was yelling at me because I was cutting! Who does she think is?
ME [In Mandarin]: Don’t think I don’t understand Mandarin, I can understand everything you’re saying.
CUTTER GIRL [In Mandarin]: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME? I’M JUST CUTTING!
ME [In Mandarin]: YOU AREN’T SUPPOSE TO CUT, IS SOMETHING WRONG IN YOUR HEAD?
CUTTER GIRL [In Cantonese]: You’re a crazy btich.
ME [In Mandarin]: I CAN UNDERSTAND CANTONESE AS WELL, BITCH.
*She looked surprised but immediately switched back to her sordid emotional state*
CUTTER GIRL [In Cantonese]: THEN WHY AREN’T YOU FUCKING SPEAKING IN CANTONESE? I DON’T BELIEVE YOU, YOU ARE JUST A CRAZY ASSHOLE.
ME [In Mandarin]: YOU WANT ME, THE CRAZY ASSHOLE, TO SAY SOMETHING IN CANTONESE?
CUTTER GIRL [In Cantonese]: I BET YOU CAN’T, FUCKER!
ME [In Cantonese]: YOUR MOM CAN GO FUCK HERSELF. Happy?
Then I smiled. Her jaw dropped….as if she was wondering how this non-Chinese-looking Chinese person with perfect English can speak both perfect Mandarin and perfect Cantonese?
Between you and me, “Your mom can go fuck herself” is the only thing I can actually pronounce correctly in Cantonese. I can understand some Cantonese, but I really just lucked out.
The discounted Cannon Rebel XTI Digital SLR I got was really just a consolation prize. The real victory and reward was my encounter with Cutter Girl.
14 Comments
November 24, 2006 at 8:43 am
This is the best story EVER!!! I’ve had some similar situation with Spanish speakers… yes this 6′2″ gringo can speak Spanish…
The first mandarin I learned was “fuck your mother.” heh. Later when I took a formal class and we learned the verb in it’s proper context (it’s like “do” like as in “what do you do for a living?”), I was like, to the teacher, “wait a minute, does that word also mean…” and she cut me off and said, “yes. and we’re not using it in this lesson!!!”
bwahahahaha
November 24, 2006 at 8:44 am
Excellent. Now you need to learn ” and your Dad too ” for next time. Good valued camera as well.
November 24, 2006 at 8:47 am
So she knew that she was cutting in, but was upset at you for pointing that out?
Erm, she seems mental. Well done on sorting her out. And getting a camera too.
November 24, 2006 at 1:38 pm
waaaaooooowww gr8 story.:)
Wish i could speak mandarin. Altough i dont know what cantonese is.
November 24, 2006 at 6:04 pm
ok,that’s hilarious, b/c it’s the only thing i can say in catonese too. did i teach it to you?
November 25, 2006 at 3:54 pm
That was such a relief. I got in line at 7pm… man. I have to say that reading this made me laugh at something that was at one time very frustrating (ie friday morning). Good writing, saved the day.
November 25, 2006 at 4:40 pm
Wow, I thought San Francisco was supposed to be all peaceful and hippy-like.
November 25, 2006 at 4:55 pm
love u, girl. have a great holiday.
November 25, 2006 at 9:40 pm
Excellent camera choice. I love mine to pieces (well, not pieces… it’s still whole).
The kit lens is kinda crap though… Tamrons have worked well for me, and they’re cheaper than Canon’s mega uber prices.
November 27, 2006 at 3:09 pm
Wow great story, I found via digg. I would have braved the crowds too Friday morning for that camera if I didn’t have to work.
Keep up the great posts
November 28, 2006 at 9:31 am
Oh. My. Gosh. That was priceless. Hee!
November 28, 2006 at 7:45 pm
[...] Elsewhere in the Ms, Momopeche posted what is, essentially, the best Black Friday story OF ALL TIME. It just gets better and better until it gets best. [...]
November 30, 2006 at 11:02 pm
[...] -Best Buy Black Friday Story: So I became the tech-gadget community’s darling for 15 minutes with my Best Buy story thanks to 1UP and Digg. It’s surreal, and the response was pretty overwhelming. I was just disappointed that the notorious Cutter Girl didn’t start a fight, because I would’ve *brought it*. [...]
April 23, 2007 at 5:26 am
Now that’s a giant pile of awesome.